- Go dancing with brushed teeth, fresh clothing and deodorant (but without strong perfume). Avoid “sports materials” (such as polyester). You’ll smell sweaty faster.
- Laugh when you make technical mistake. Apologize when you grab a boob or elbow somebody.
- Before you start the dance, really try to look at the other person and try to sense what state they’re in. (Are they happy? Are they tired? Are they high or low energy?). Adapt your energy to meet theirs.
- Never correct your partner during the dance unless they ask. Never correct somebody you don’t know unless they ask you to.
- Always take a deep breath before you start a dance.
- Not everyone want’s to small talk while they dance. Make sure you know what type you’re dancing with.
- Eye contact and smiling at your partner and dancing is just like in conversations. A little bit and in the right moment.
- Unless you’re have top level empathy / social skills, you want to let your partner go after one dance. If you have a good chemistry, you can go up to 5 songs, not problem, but make sure you ask again every time.
- Make sure you have something to offer to the person you’re asking for a dance. You can make up for your lack of skill with positive energy and a smile.
- Want to ask somebody who is above your level for a dance? Instead of saying: “I saw you’re really good. I have to dance with you,” try “I’m not on your level and I don’t want to break your flow, but I would be happy to dance with you. I totally understand if you don’t want to, and I promise I won’t be sad.”
- When you dance with somebody who is above your level, avoid noting and apologizing for your mistakes every 10 seconds. They can notice hiccups in the dance on their own.
- If your partner does something cool during the dance, validate them with a smile, sound of amazement or compliment.
- When the other person is above your level, give them space to do their solo moves (Leaders let go of your followers. Followers don’t freak out when the leader lets you go.)
Bonus Tip: Ask Vulnerable Questions
Many students are anxious about their performance when dancing with people in class.
They want to do the steps correctly without bothering their dancer partners with their mistakes.
But they forget that we’re all taking this class to learn.
Of course, you should focus on the teachers most of the time. They will (hopefully) tell you exactly how to do things correctly.
But if there is room for it during class or social dancing, try the following questions:
- Followers can ask the leaders: was there any moment during the dance where I didn’t interpret your signals correctly?
- Leaders can ask the followers: was there any moment during the dance where is wasn’t clear what I wanted to lead?